Family

I've been thinking a lot lately about family. There are a few things that have brought some things into the forefront of my mind and it's been sitting there now and causing me to ponder quite a bit about things.

One of the things about family that has stood out to me is how much we influence each other. I see personality traits and attitudes in others and sometimes is so obvious to me where those things were learned. I look at myself and how greatly my thoughts and feelings are dependent on my family. And I know that a lot of my personality has been shaped by family. Of course I don't want to put into specifics some of the things I've been thinking, but it is such an amazing power, and responsibility this influence we have on one another. It's good because we can create great things and great feelings, but it's also scary because we can also be detrimental to those that should be the most important people in our lives. I guess it's part of getting older and having many years to look back on and see how things get started and build and build over time.

Another thing that has really been standing out in my mind the last few weeks is how blessed I am when it comes to family. I've known for many years now how lucky I got when I was born into this family but it's been exceptionally appreciated lately. I never, ever remember a time when I didn't have a long list of people who I knew, without doubt, loved me. That's because there never was one. The more experience I have in the world makes me realize how rare of a thing that is. To have parents who always took good care of me and gave me the best that they could, and grandparents who adored me and showed it well enough for me to never question it.

And numerous aunts and uncles, some of which treated me like I was their best friend. I have lived at least 700 miles a way from most of my extended family most of my life but they took the opportunity to spend time with me when they could. I guess I was lucky that some of them were still fairly young when I was born and weren't too busy with their own adult responsibilities yet to pay some attention to me.

My Uncle Jimmy who took me for my only ride in a Porsche. I was in town and he had a date, but he stopped by my aunts house that I was at, put me in the back seat of the Porsche (I was young, I fit fine.) and took me to dinner with his date. I didn't fully appreciate at the time what he was doing, but I was happy to spend time with him and looking back it tells me that I was important to him. He was THE 'tickle monster' when I was little too. There were lots of laughs in my childhood because of him. He also got up in testimony meeting one time while we were at a family reunion together and bore his testimony and mentioned me by name and that he wanted me to know what his testimony was. It meant so much to me. I was young (8 or 10 or so??) and I didn't know how to react, and I know I didn't show him how much I appreciated it then, but it is such a strong memory and was such a stepping stone in the building of my own testimony.

My Uncle Kirk, who I thought was the coolest guy ever. He's still pretty high up on my 'coolest guy' list. I remember going to watch him play ice hockey once and being so concerned he was going to get hurt. He had a red Trans Am, which just added to his coolness in my eyes. And he treated me great. I thought I was pretty cool because he was so good to me. I remember him going on his mission. I was still pretty young and didn't fully appreciate what a mission was yet. I remember my mom talking to him on the phone a lot and I got to talk to him once. I remember asking him if he REALLY wasn't going to listen to music or watch movies or tv for 2 years. I thought that was a pretty serious decision but he went and was a great example to me.

My Aunt Darci. One of my favorite people. She is one of the handful of people in my life who make me feel totally and completely loved. I know she doesn't just love me because I'm her niece, I know that she loves me because of the person I am as well. How amazing is it to have people like that in your life? She is only 15 years older than me so my earliest memories of her were when she was at the height of teen/young adult life. I remember posters of cute boys and that she loved music and wanted to be happy and have fun all of the time. I even got to be her roommate for a little while when she stayed with us in California. I remember riding around in her Mustang with her Hawaiian seat covers and enjoying every minute of it. Blonde hair and smiles is what I think of when I remember Darci back then. And that she didn't like me to mess up the bedroom. :-) Now Darci has become a wife and mother and one of the most caring and sensitive people in the world. She tells me I'm a good person and is so sincere that she makes me believe that I am. For me, who tends to be kind of hard on myself, that's an amazing thing and says more about her and how much I care for her than anything. She tells my daughter how lucky she is to have me as a mother. I don't think there's a better compliment she could pay me.

Lisa. Where can I even begin describing how grateful I am for Lisa. My aunt who's really my big sister. I even have a birthday card or two from her that were made for a little sister. :-) I took a speech class a couple years ago and one of the speeches I had to give was to be about someone who we were thankful for. I got up and talked about Lisa. A couple of the points I made were that in the few times a year I got to see her she was able to show how much she liked being with me. She was the constant for me when I went to stay with my grandparents during the summer. She would tell me stories about when I was little and take me places and bake with me and watch movies with me and buy me stuff and... She would go to work all day and then come home and hang out with me. I don't remember her ever being too busy or too tired. I don't remember her ever shutting herself in her room or leaving to do her own things. I would be there for weeks at a time and she would put everything on hold so I could spend time with her. I remember the days sometimes being long while she was at work and waiting to hear her car pull in the driveway. I remember being almost 12 years old, having not attended a lot of primary when I was young and knowing I wasn't going to get my Gospel in Action award when I 'graduated' to Young Womens. I was okay with that but Lisa couldn't see why I shouldn't get it. She helped me memorize all 13 Articles of Faith in a few weeks. I know that doesn't seem like a lot when you hear them every week in primary (as I do now) but I wasn't familiar with them at all so it was hard! I remember laying in her bed at night in the dark with her helping me memorize each of them, and then helping me think of ways to remember which was which. I went home and got my Gospel in Action award and I still think of her every time I put the necklace on. And then I went on to earn every young women medallion available to me. How's that for setting an example. I would have to write a book to tell all of the time she's spent with me, and all of the fun times we've had, and all of the great things she's taught me. I worked for her at AlphaGraphics for almost 2 years and was thrilled every time I was told I was like her. My best memory of working there was the night we stayed almost all night to get a job done that had to be done by morning. It was just the two of us, watching the copy machine most of the time and laughing hysterically at anything and everything because we were exhausted. I almost felt bad for getting paid for it. Almost. She took me to Lagoon (amusement park) during the summers, took a trip with me to San Francisco to see the Winchester Mystery House on Halloween (that's a story in itself), drove 700 miles to Los Angeles to escort me through the temple when I was endowed, drove 700 miles back home, drove 700 miles back again several days later to attend my sealing and be my maid of honor when I got married, and then drove the 700 miles back home. (My grandparents made both of those drives as well. A bit selfishly planned by myself, I know) My final example in my speech about why she was so important to me is that she taught me how to treat my younger brothers. I loved my younger brothers so much and wanted them to feel as important and loved as much as Lisa had made me feel. It was easy because all I had to do was be like Lisa. I know that the relationships I have in my life today, including the one I have with my daughter, are better because of how great Lisa was with me.

Wow, I got kind of carried away I suppose. I could continue. In case you don't know I have 13 aunts and uncles not counting their spouses and I can think of special memories of most of them. Maybe another day. I need to go wipe the tears off of my face, blow my nose, and say a prayer of gratitude.